Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wilbur Meets His Sweetie

Dag nabit, if I didn't snag the best lady in the world. Yes, sir. I was 17, just got off work, and the sun had finally come out after three days of hard rain.

There she was, Gertrude McGurty with her friend Betsy Lands. Just standing in front of the Malt shop chit-chattin'. Beautiful blonde hair all nice and shiny and glowing in the sun. Well, until a truck came barreling down the street and . . .whoosh!

Talk about the puddle of all puddles. To everybody else she looked like a drowned rat. But I didn't care. It was love at first sight.

My heart was pounding fiercely as I started across the street. I walked right up to her and asked, "Hi, will you marry me?"

Don't know what got into the girl. She slapped me and "harumphed" right past me. I looked over to Betsy. She stuck up her pip-squeekin' nose in the air and bumped me. I know she did that to wrinkle me all up. But I wasn't bothered a bit. My heart followed drowned rat Trudy across the street and round the corner. I never took my eyes off her.

By that point I'd made up my mind. I was gonna catch her heart and wrap it in tin foil if it took my whole life. I didn't care what people said, I knew that little drowned rat was gonna be mine. So I followed her home.

I hung back as I tracked her. I wanted to surprise my sweetie, so on the way I reached down into Mrs. Wenchfield's flower bed and borrowed some blossoms.

Sometimes I just don't get women. If Mrs. Wenchfield didn't want people pickin' her flowers, she shouldn't put 'em next to the walk way.

That pan she threw missed me by a hair's breadth, bounced off the . . . holy smoke, Bailey! I gotta git home for lunch before the missus comes down here and drags me off. See ya!

Bailey here: As usual I was typing Wilbur's post yesterday while he dictated, since he can't type. He took off in a hurry and didn't come back to finish his post. Guess he'll have to wrap this love story up some other time.

Posted by ~ Bailey Truitt @ 7:00 AM
Trudy I don't know how you put up with the man.

Wilbur, they call that kind of activity stalkin' nowadays.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 3:50 AM
Wrap her heart in tin foil? What is she, Wilbur, a salami sandwich?
Posted by Anonymous burt laroy : 8:17 AM
Wrap her heart in tin foil? What is she, Wilbur, a salami sandwich?
Posted by Anonymous burt laroy : 8:18 AM
Wilbur Hucks, if you picked the flowers out of my garden, I'd do more than throw a pan at you. Let's just leave it at that.
Posted by Anonymous elizabeth monty : 8:18 AM
Michelle is right--that's stalking today, Wilbur. I'm glad you're not a young man now. I'd probably get a call from the gal, and I'd have to come arrest you.
Posted by Anonymous frank west : 8:20 AM
Well, one thing's clear. He may have caught her, but the Missus now runs the roost. Go Trudy!
Posted by Anonymous phoebe terrison : 8:21 AM
Please come back and finish the story, Wilbur. Good, funny stuff.

We definitely live in a different world now...
Posted by Anonymous Synner : 1:00 PM
Thanks for sharing Wilbur. It was the same way for me when I found my sweetie.
Posted by Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant : 4:07 PM
I say withhold the man's coffee until he finishes the story. That'll do the trick.
Posted by Anonymous larry cellaway : 4:33 PM
Good grief, it's not like we don't know how it ends.
Posted by Anonymous burt laroy : 4:34 PM
Spoken like a true man. Burt, what do you know? The fun's in the ROMANCE. How did it happen? What finally brought the hero and heroine together? Don't you see this is why women read romance novels?
Posted by Anonymous sarah wray : 4:35 PM
Romantic except for the heart-in-tin-foil part. Makes me think "Silence of the Lambs." Ewww. Well, I guess she came around...
Posted by Blogger Janet Rubin : 5:20 PM
Wilbur planned this "interruption" in the name of suspense. It's just like watching TV shows and having the commercials come at the exact spot where you gotta see what happens next!

So get yourself back to the Java Joint, Wilbur. This woman wants the rest of the love story!
Posted by Blogger Becca : 7:05 PM
Ugh! Wilbur, how could ya leave us hanging like that? You'd better be back to share the rest of your story. I'm a true romantic at heart (even pen some romances myself, although I don't really have anything in my real life), and I look forward to hearing how you snagged your sweetie. Come back soon!
Posted by Blogger Tiff/Amber Miller : 4:03 PM
How could you call the woman you believed you'd marry a 'drowned rat'? And why don't you take your wife to the Java Joint with you so we can meet her? We should hear her side of this story.
Posted by Blogger Cassidy : 3:36 PM
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