Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Big Jonah
Howdy, folks. Yep, it's my turn again. Jake Tremaine.
With this retirement gig I've had lots of time to think about what I want to post. You see, my mind is buzzing with so many ideas, it's like I upset a beehive the last time I went bear slapping. Hmm, maybe I should do that this Saturday. Give me a chance to get out in God's great forests.
Anyway, my wife tells me I'm digressing. Today I thought I'd tell you more about Big Jonah. That's the fish I almost caught. I ain't never seen anything like this before.
There I am standing on the bank with my buddy Jeb (we don't let a little thing like an altercation come between us) and Chief Vince Edwards. Water's crystal clear, sun's shining. It's enough to make a man doze off. Just as my eyes are closing, there's this great splashing in the water. The crystal clearness is replaced by mud being churned up in this thrashing right there by the edge of the bank.
Next thing Jeb and I see is this huge fish with its mouth wrapped around my grandson's basketball. The dumb thing thought it was some kind of food. Can you believe that? Of course its mouth was wrapped so tightly around the ball, it couldn't spit it out.
I thump Jeb on the back so hard he almost coughed his dentures up. "Tell me I ain't seeing what my poor eyes think they're seeing."
He slaps back so hard I almost fly into the water. "You, idgit. Of course you are. Where's my digital camera?"
Now you tell me who takes a camera fishing, especially one of those new fangled digital thingamajiggers. That's the perfect way to ruin a piece of good equipment. Besides, it's a cardinal rule of great fishermen that all photos are taken on the pier. After you've caught the fish.
Anyway, Jeb searched through his cargo pockets but couldn't find his camera. Instead, Chief Edwards ran to his squad car to get his, and then clicked away.
You can say whatever you want, but this time I've got hard evidence to prove my fish story. Don't believe me? Check out my personal blog and see the pictures for yourself.
Or maybe they should make it water polo...
Never have seen him since. Maybe he's still thrashing round Kanner Lake with that crazy ball crammed in his mouth.
Jake
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