Wednesday, July 19, 2006
This Retirement Thing
Hi, all, this is Jake Tremaine. Finally it's my turn.
Well, with all the stories being told on his blog, I suppose I ought to add mine for starters. A month ago I walked to Java Joint and almost got ran over by a bull moose. We live a little outside of town, and I was walking down the road minding my own business when I saw it coming, clomping along without a care in the world. Some tourist got out of his PT Cruiser and tried to coax it closer with a half eaten donut! It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The moose put his head down and charged. The idiot guy dove back into his fancy car and drove off, but not before that moose rearranged his grill, front quarter panel and driver side window. Suppose I shouldn't have laughed so hard, but the fool deserved everything he got if you ask me.
You believe that, I'll tell you another one.
I've recently officially retired from the saw mill. No more coming home smelling like cedar. I got to say, it's not what I expected. There's no one to do anything with. Half my friends are dead and the rest have one foot on a danged banana peel. I asked Art Baliff and Jeb Johansen to go bass fishing in Lake Pend Orielle and you know the response I got? Art has to go in for dialysis and Jeb's got a colonoscopy. Can you imagine? He'd choose a butt probe over bass fishing. That just ain't Idahoan.
Retirement might be for the birds. I just can't decide. But boredom could drive a man crazy. I've never been a golfer. Everybody tells me the golf courses around here are nice. There's even a famous floating green on the course down at the Coeur d'Alene Resort. That's right, the thing actually floats in the lake. The way I hear it, if you're lucky enough to get your ball on the green rather than in the water, a fancy, shiny wooden boat takes you out there to finish the hole. Now that's classy. All I same, I'm not interested in whacking a tiny ball all over tarnation. And certainly not into a lake.
I'm not a canoe fan either. Never liked slapping at mosquitoes with a paddle. The last time I tried I hit the guy in front of me with the wide part. While he was yelling at me, I hit my head with the handle end. And the tiniest puff of wind would send me flapping into the water. If I wanted to swim, I wouldn't be sitting in a canoe in the first place.
I've lived in Kanner Lake my whole life. It's a great place. I just have to learn how to live here without a job to fill my time. Of course I go down to Java Joint every morning. Sit on my stool, next to Wilbur's. But that can't take a man's whole day. So I'm up for suggestions on some new hobbies or something. Any thoughts out there in blog reader land?
That's it. Yesterday you claim you put MY catfish in the slough, when everybody knows I planted that fish. Now you humiliate me in front of thousands--maybe millions! I'm so mad I'm shakin'. You better run Tremaine, cuz I'm comin' over to kick yer aaaa...ankle.
Sorry Bailey, almost slipped. I won't hurt him too bad. Just gonna have a little discussion with the thick-headed fool.
I'll be there in ten minutes, Jake.
Ms. Monty, I hope you continue reading our blog. The thing is, I can't sit on top of it every minute, as I have a cafe to run. And we do have some strong personalities here. Perhaps you will enjoy some of the blogger's posts more than others. And when you get to know everyone better, you'll see what wonderful people they all are.
Blessings to you today.
'em over the head with a skillet!
What's going on over at Jake's house? Cheif Edwards is there with his lights flashing, that guy from the Kanner Lake Times is parked sideways on Jake's lawn and Jeb Johansen's old beat up truck has one tire up on Jake's front porch! You usually have all the dirt--so tell me what's going on???
I kept walking following the voices and laughter. Sure enough, there they were, Jake, Jeb and Chief Edwards fishing off the bank. I'd bet my finest fishing lure that amidst the hollering and swinging fists the Chief simply said,"Is Big Jonah still in the slough?"
That's all it would have taken to have those two running for their poles. He's a real fine cop and knows how to handle the excentrics! Catastrophe diverted.
We almost got Big Jonah, we did. Come see the pictures.
I always had a thing for loggers. I'd love to meet you!
And Cora I don't tell no tales! It's all the God's honest truth. Why this mornin' we tried catchin' Big Jonah after Jeb and my little altercation and that danged monster of a catfish flew out of the water in slow motion like, and tried to eat my grandson's basketball that was floatin' around. I got pictures to prove it this time! You just click on my name and it'll take you to the pictures Chief Edwards took with his work camera. I'm tellin' you, you ain't never seen the like. Tall tales--bah!
But Jake was right! I went to his blog and those pictures are amazing. It's pretty hard to refute the truth of that catfish eating a basketball. You folks take care now.
As for hobbies, hmmmm, I'll have to think on that one, but did you ever think of writing a book about your experiences with Big Jonah?
Great fish pictures. How about stop by my hobby shop next week and I'll set you up with a different kind of hook. LOL! Crocheting is a viable hobby these days. I bet you find it harder than hooking those worms. I dare ya?
I figured when I retired I was gettin' up there in age and the women would finally let me be. But I see now I'm just as desirable as I was 40 years ago! Whooooeeee! It feels great! But you can dare me all ya want, I ain't no girlie-man and I wouldn't know what to do with a crotchet hook if ya gave me one. I'll stick to fishin' hooks 'til I keel over dead--hopefully fishin'!
Links to this post:
Bailey Truitt ~ Java Joint owner
Leslie Brymes ~ reporter extraordinaire
Carla Radling ~ realtor at your service
Wilbur Hucks ~ ya gotta love him
Jake Tremaine ~ retired logger
Ted Dawson (S-Man) ~ sci-fi writer
Hank Detcher ~ pastor and friend
Janet Detcher ~ keeps Hank in line
Bev Trexel ~ retired teacher
Angie Brendt ~ Bev's best pal
Sarah Wray ~ Simple Pleasures owner
Jared Moore ~ Kanner Lake Times
LEARN MORE ABOUT KANNER LAKE
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