Friday, July 07, 2006

Fourth of July Parade Melee--Part 2

[Carla Radling] We left off yesterday with Larry's rolling mower eating his skirt right off him. Wish we could leave it there, too, but your favorite Kanner Lake realtor is here to report that skirt jerked right down to Larry's ankles. Nimble guy that he is, Larry stumbled forward, caught himself with both hands, pushed upright, leapt out of the skirt, and hopped three steps to catch his run-away lawn mower. Machines and men in rows two, three and four all crashed into each other, the cheerleaders in front of the Manic Mowers screamed, the float with our proud veterans rolled to a halt (before it rolled over somebody). And there was Larry, hunkered in the street in an orange polka-dot pair of undershorts. Lost his skirt but caught his lawn mower. Like any loyal MM, the man's priority lies with his machine.

[Leslie Brymes] So there I am, trying to take notes for the Kanner Lake Times article on the parade. Yeah, right. Not even Jared could scribble fast enough to keep up with that mess. Besides, by the time all the crashes ended, I and my girlfriends were too busy whistling at Larry. So was his wife, who laughed so hard she fell down on the sidewalk and couldn't get up. I'm all super jazzed over my car--a bright yellow VW bug with pink daisy petals on the doors. But Larry's polka-dot shorts were so way cool, I about had the mind to repaint my car just to match them. All the man needed on 'em was a few rhinestones. I did think fast enough to throw down my Steno pad and aim a camera Larry's way. Our Kanner Lake Times is printed every Wednesday, so three guesses what was our front page above-the-fold photo. And the byline's mine. :]

[Jared Moore] This old newspaperman has seen many a Fourth of July parade in his day, but never one quite like this. By the time the Manic Mowers reformed their lines, Larry had wriggled back into that ghastly skirt (an event to behold in itself) and straightened his blonde wig. Everything eventually got moving again, and Kanner Lake denizens had drained their laugh wells dry. The MMs marched two blocks before their fearless leader called them to a halt for another performance. But no 540 that time. A few leg kicks and hokey pokey steps, and the fine men were ready to call it a day. I must commend Leslie for the photo she took of Larry. Caught the man just right--both hands in the air, face stretched in utter shock and surprise, cheeks flaming as bright as the polka-dots on his shorts. According to my prognostication, we'll sell hundreds of extra copies of the KL Times this week. Our subscribers will want to keep their own copy while mailing a second and perhaps a third to family and friends. I'm most happy to oblige.

[Ted Dawson, a.k.a. S-Man] Shak, bloggees. [Bailey--Shak is "hello" in his science fiction Saurian language.] The gang pulled me from my own computer to finish up this post. Looks to me like they've told the tale, so not sure what more I can say. Never was a Manic Mower myself. Now probably never will be. Broke my leg on the job some months back and it's in a huge cast. Be a real gimp with a mower. I have enough trouble trying to reestablish peace in Sauria. No time for mow-dance practice, even with two good legs. But since I have the blog floor, I'll say this. Kanner Lake's a good place for family and friends. And July fourth is one of the best days of the year for both. Whether a ruffled red skirt and one lone bee bring the whole parade to a bumbling halt, or all runs to perfection, a lot of folks would agree with me that the most important part of the parade is the vets. Everyone stands when our veterans go by. They're proud of themselves; we're proud and grateful for them, and what they've done for this country. Because of them we have a Fourth of July to begin with. So to them we all say wuchak. "Thanks" is hardly enough, but it's a start.

P.S. I'm happy to report the town has no idea of the color of any veteran's briefs.

[Coming Monday: Wilbur takes on a bear. Guess who wins.]

Posted by ~ Bailey Truitt @ 6:00 AM
You Kanner Lake folks are a hoot!

Tell Wilbur that I tangled with a bear too. It was this morning when I asked her to make me some pancakes. Ha-ha
Posted by Anonymous Curm : 2:00 AM
I loved the report on the Fourth of July parade! Kanner Lake sounds like a wonderful place to visit. I look forward to getting to know everyone through the blog, so that when I come to visit (hopefully within the next year!), you'll all feel like old friends :).
Posted by Blogger margie : 7:32 AM
Curm, you better watch out or that bear will kick you out of the house. ;)
Posted by Blogger Becca : 7:45 AM
Too funny. Congrats on getting the one of a kind picture, Leslie! Looking forward to more.
Posted by Anonymous Don : 8:09 AM
What I want to know is why in the world he was in a skirt anyways.
Posted by Blogger AnnaMaria : 12:16 PM
I am a veteran and I really enjoyed reading this ...

Everyone stands when our veterans go by. They're proud of themselves; we're proud and grateful for them, and what they've done for this country.

... guess we Kansans have more in common with you Idahoans than I thought.
Posted by Blogger Kansas Bob : 1:18 PM
Nice ending to the story. Glad the skirt got back on. Although I hope it came off after the parade--and stays that way.
Posted by Anonymous R.J. Hager : 5:04 PM
I still say Larry Cellaway had it coming, wearing a skirt. In my day, parades were far more dignified. But the world these days is certainly a different place.

The parade notwithstanding, I do appreciate the comraderie amongst you people at Java Joint. Community is important.
Posted by Anonymous Elizabeth Monty : 5:07 PM
Wilbur, can't wait to read your post. When is S-Man up?
Posted by Anonymous Carly Suggs : 5:09 PM
I'm a veteran, too. And I must say, it makes us proud to march in a fourth of July parade and see people stand. Even to this old man, that makes my world go just a little blurry.
Posted by Anonymous Fred Wiley : 5:10 PM
Yup, that's the way it happened, folks. See why I say no wearing skirts next year for the Manic Mowers?
Posted by Anonymous burt laroy : 5:12 PM
Someone asked why Larry was in a skirt in the first place. There IS a reason. The joke around his house is that his wife has to mow the lawn because he's so busy at his work.

(But she doesn't wear ugly red ruffled skirts, I can tell you that. Melissa is quite fashionable.)
Posted by Blogger ~ Bailey Truitt : 5:15 PM
You guys crack me up! Have any more 4th of July antics to share?
Posted by Blogger Rachel : 9:09 PM
You're right Bailey...About Melissa, that is...And I'll bet a dollar to a dougnut that she don't own any orange polka-dotted undies either!

I still can't believe none of the women have commented on that horrid blonde wig he was wearin'!

Didn't ya' ladies notice he had it on backwards?

He just better not show up like that to mow my lawn...I live down the street and Melissa sometimes makes him help me out!
Posted by Anonymous Darla bloom : 9:17 PM
Fred and Kansas Bob, my dad's a Vet and I was taught to respect our country, our flag and our Vets. Growing up, we stood and clapped and I watched my dad salute those men walking by.

I attended a parade in my hometown a couple of years ago and when the Vets went by we stood. We clapped. I looked around and no one else joined us. I was shocked and dismayed. And most of all, sad.

It does my heart good to know that somewhere (and hopefully most places) still honor and respect our Vets. Thank you Fred and Kansas Bob for what you've done for us. And thank you to all of the unnamed Vets who might be reading.
Posted by Blogger Michelle Pendergrass : 2:07 AM
All I can say is thank goodness they weren't on ride-a-mowers!!

What a hoot you folks are. It sounds like life is fun and carefree in Kanner Lake. Sort of like the old days when it was safe for kids to play in the streets and young lovers to walk hand in hand enjoying an evening under the bright stars. Sigh .... wish I could visit.

Posted by Anonymous Tracey : 10:44 AM
The visuals will never leave my mind. I can't say that's a good thing. LOL! But it sure is funny. Next time vacation talk comes up, I think I'll suggest Kanner Lake to hubby. Maybe next 4th of July, but only if Larry will wear his skirt again. LOL!
Posted by Blogger Dineen A. Miller : 4:13 PM
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